This is what it’s like: My life, my story - Part 2
Continued -
So at the beginning of November we travelled home. Which, needless to say that this journey was a long one! The first flight was about 9 hours, doesn’t seem too bad, but it’s what followed after. That quite literally made me crumble. A 15 hour flight, that I was in utter agony the whole way. I remember getting off the plane for the stop over, and tell me why my grandma was walking better than me! There I was limping, barely able to do that. This was not a pretty moment, a lot of people staring at me lagging behind, as if I’m on something. In that moment I just wanted to get home into bed, and go to sleep.
We eventually got home, it felt like forever. The next morning was the worst, knowing something was wrong with me, but not knowing what it was. It definitely started to take a toll on my mental health. Like, Is it all in my mind? Because I’ve heard that before. Then it was time to ring the doctors, this is one of the things that I don’t like doing. But it needed to be done! I managed to get an appointment booked within a few days, I’m grateful for that. I don’t know what I was expecting the outcome of this appointment to be. But it was not what I was hoping for! For a doctor to say to me that it’s “normal” to have these “aches and pains”, really upset me. It felt so deflating. I never cry in front of anyone, but let me tell you, in front of this doctor, I started bawling my eyes out saying, “ I know that this isn’t normal “.
I was sent away with some medication and a blood test to be done. Everything was tiring me mentally, as I just wanted an answer. Everyday felt so long going forward, especially as all I could think about was the pain. I had the blood test done just before Christmas 2023, so I got the results back in the new year. Finally, I got somewhat of an answer. My results came back abnormal for inflammation and low iron. This was the start of something, I felt kind of relieved in a way. I knew that something wasn’t right from the beginning, I just desperately needed someone to believe me!
I tried so hard to carry on like “normal” and be the person I once was. The sad thing was that I physically couldn’t and that slowly broke me everyday. Having a physical condition, that’s not typically visible, makes it more difficult for people that don’t have a physical condition to understand what it’s really like to live with. Gradually losing the ability to complete everyday tasks like; preparing myself food or getting myself dressed. I mean, I never would have thought that something as simple as spreading butter on toast would cause so much discomfort and take me so much longer to do.
I received a letter later in the month, saying the estimated treatment time would be in June 2024, which was 6 months away. I know that there is waiting times longer than this and I really do appreciate that I got seen to pretty quickly, even though it might not have felt like it at the time! I was increasingly getting worried about whether or not I could wait that long as my symptoms didn’t change and only got worser. The medication I was prescribed didn’t help me at all, but the doctor couldn’t prescribe anything else until I was seen at the hospital by a Rheumatologist.
For another 6 weeks of enduring sleepless nights and days full of absolute agony. I started to give up, I thought that my world was quite literally over and thought nothing was going to help me. Just as I thought things couldn’t get any worser… They did!
The End Of Part 2 - Follow for more
Quote - It’s okay if you’re not “there” yet. Progress isn’t about being perfect; it’s about looking back and realising you’re not where you started.