This is what it’s like: My life, my story - Part 4
I was so relieved to be at home now. However, the next thing that I didn’t know was what the recovery was all about. How much it would take out of me, the stress was another thing in the way and just knowing that it was going to be incredibly difficult and timely! After a few days of being home, I began to feel so much better. Even though I was still in pain, it was no where near as bad as what it was previously in the hospital. I was on quite a few different medications to help me get rid of this attack. In the beginning stages, so within the first few months I’d say. The medications saved me, quite literally!
One of the worst struggles for me with getting diagnosed, was having to “deal” with what peoples questions and answers would be. Like, “oh, I thought only older people get arthritis” or “you’re too young to have arthritis”. It comes to a point where I actually laugh at these types of questions now, like I don’t even know how to answer that. Well, I do. For one, yes older people do get arthritis, that’s the one most people associate with getting older, which is called osteoarthritis. (don’t get me wrong, I had no clue what the difference was before getting diagnosed either!). Two, people of any age can have arthritis even though it’s still a shock to me that I have Rheumatoid Arthritis at 22. Rheumatoid Arthritis is an auto immune disease, where basically my body attacks itself, causing the joint pain, stiffness and swelling. There are many type of arthritis, even I can’t name all of them myself. Anyway, it does get annoying after a while of being asked the same question. I actually have no problems with anyone asking me certain questions about the condition I have. But I feel like I can definitely tell between the educational questions and the ones that I would find disrespectful or upsetting.
When I had this flare up of RA, I had no idea what my future would look like or hold. With RA, it’s so unpredictable. Most sources online will tell you, you can go days, months or even years until you could have another flare up. It really just depends on when your body decides to attack itself! In the past 2 years I haven’t had another flare up, which is good. But, it doesn’t make it any easier when I don’t know when I’m going to be in agony next. Also, it really doesn’t take away the fact that I’ll feel it everyday for the rest of my life, it don’t magically disappear into thin air. Yes, I’m not in the most pain I’ve ever been in my life right now. However, I still have the morning stiffness and pain may I add, everyday tasks are something I’m learning to adapt to (but some are difficult to do even after I’ve tried a different way!). I do have the occasional cry about it, which I always seen it as my weakness. So, I only cried in my bedroom when it was dark which looking back now, that was not healthy! I am on a journey and one of the many things that I have to learn is - Being okay and knowing that it’s so much better for me to let my emotions out, rather than building them up. Also, building up the trust to confide in someone, whether that’s family, friends, therapist. Although, this is hands down one of the hardest things I’ve had to do in my life, being in the top 5, easy. For me speaking to a therapist, I found so difficult to trust. Basically a “stranger” that you’ve got to speak to about really personal stuff. But I think that’s a story for another day.
End Of Part 4 - Follow for more :)
Quote - “Staying positive doesn’t mean you have to be happy all the time. It means that even on hard days you know there are better days to come.